The Beginning

Anyone that knows me or has spent any time with me in the last year would probably agree that I live a very healthy lifestyle. I eat gluten free and don't eat anything processed, I am a licensed Zumba instructor and had the intention of running two half marathons this year. So anyone that knows me will probably be shocked to know that I have been diagnosed with cancer, more specifically Stage 3 Hodgkin's Lymphoma. 

Looking back over the last year, I have had just about every symptom of the disease, but the symptoms are so subtle and are ones that are easily overlooked and diagnosed as something more minor. It took five different doctors to figure out something was not right and to actually get the diagnosis. 

Let's rewind to earlier this year. January, to be exact. I noticed that I had been sweating when I was sleeping at night. It seemed a little odd to me because of my age, so of course I googled it to see what the potential cause could be. The causes ranged from anxiety to cancer to tuberculosis. I told myself that I am just a warm sleeper, and that my body was just overdoing it with trying to make up for how cold it was outside (it was winter in Idaho, after all). And I didn't really think anything of it after that. But one morning a few weeks later as I was getting ready for work, I noticed I had a lump in my left armpit. The first thing I did was obviously google it to see what it might be. It was either nothing or something serious. I knew I wouldn't have peace of mind unless I had it looked at, so I made an appointment to see my doctor in Sacramento. 

My doctor (doctor #1) looked at it and very confidently diagnosed it as a lipoma (benign tumor). I did mention to her that I had been having night sweats, but she said it was nothing to worry about. I was so relieved to hear this, especially with how confident my doctor was. I went back to Boise and carried on with life. 

Last spring, I decided I was going to do a half marathon. I registered to run the Famous Idaho Potato Marathon, and started training with a friend. About 2 weeks before the race, I woke up feeling really ill. My throat burned, and my body felt weak and tired. It took about five or so days to feel better, but I could only miss so much work, so I was getting up early and working long days while I was trying to recover. It seemed like a bad flu that "had been going around," but I felt like I never fully recovered from it. I was constantly tired and just felt off. I would recover for about a week or so, and then feel really fatigued again. I didn't feel like I had adequate energy to run 13.1 miles, so I didn't end up running the race. After a few weeks of not feeling well, I decided to go to an urgent care to get checked out. Based on my symptoms (fatigue, flu-like symptoms, weakened immune system, swollen glands) the doctor (doctor #2) determined that I had a "mono-like" virus, and should fully recover in about a month. I didn't mention the armpit lump to her, since I knew it was benign. During that month, my husband, Nate, got the stomach flu, so inevitably I got it too. Once I recovered from that, I started taking Airborne every day to try and build my immune system back up. In the mean time, I had signed up for another half marathon (which takes place on September 20th), and one of the incentives of signing up was a 30-day pass for one of the gyms in Boise. I started getting up before work and going to fitness classes, along with running on the treadmill. I was running on a treadmill after a weight-lifting class on a Saturday morning, when I noticed my reflection in the TV attached to the machine. There was a small bulge right below my collarbone. When I got home, I examined it in the mirror a little bit more, and wondered if it was from weightlifting, or if it was another lipoma. I had read that it's not uncommon to have several lipomas throughout your body, so I assumed that's what it was. I took a picture and sent it to my mom, letting her know I thought I had grown another lipoma. 

This one was about the size of a golf ball. Since Nate and I had planned a trip to Sacramento a couple weeks after this, I decided to schedule an appointment to have this one checked out while I was there.

 I wasn't able to get an appointment with my regular doctor, so I was scheduled to see another doctor (doctor #3). This doctor looked not only at this new lump, but at the one in my armpit as well to compare the two. By feeling it, he said he thought it was probably a lipoma, but that he thought I should get a biopsy to be safe, since it is unusual to have two lipomas that close together. This was on a Friday, and the soonest I could get in to meet with a surgeon was the following Wednesday. Nate and I had flights to go back to Boise on Sunday, so I had to reschedule to go back Wednesday after my appointment. 

Wednesday came up quickly, and I met with Dr. Bow (doctor #4) that afternoon. He examined both of my lumps, and asked me a series of questions to rule out what it may be. Cat Scratch Fever was an option, I will have you know (yes, it is an actual condition, but I don't know how you could take it seriously). After talking to him for a few minutes, he left to get another doctor for a second (or fifth) opinion. This was doctor #5. She looked and felt both of the lumps and was the first doctor of the five to actually say that this could possibly be cancer. The lumps were in places where there are lymph nodes, and to her, they didn't seem mobile enough to be lipomas. My mom asked if there would be any other symptoms if this indeed was the result. The doctor's response? "Not necessarily-- but the most common are night sweats and fatigue." My heart sank. I think I knew at that moment that this is what it was, but I wished so badly that it wasn't that I wouldn't let myself accept it. Dr. Bow performed the biopsy, and let me know that he would call me the next day with the lab result. After the appointment, I immediately went to the airport to catch my flight back to Boise. My stomach was in absolute knots, not to mention I had just had minor surgery. 

The next day I was a wreck waiting for this phone call that would change my life forever, regardless of the results. I got sick to my stomach when I saw the call from Elk Grove, CA coming in. I answered and had Dr. Bow on the line. He told me that my biopsy was going to another lab in the Bay Area for a second opinion, but that the initial results looked like it was Hodgkin's disease, which is a type of cancer. He immediately followed up by saying that Hodgkins is very, very curable, but that he wanted to let me know right away because I would need to make arrangements to come back to California for treatment. Cancer? Even though I was pretty sure I knew deep down, just hearing the confirmation was unreal. And how was I going to break the news to my family and friends? I called my mom and my husband first thing, and then we slowly spread the word to extended family and friends to start the prayers. 

I got the confirmation phone call from Dr. Bow the next day (which was Friday). When I got off the phone with him, I sat, just stunned that it was actually true. But at the same time, I had an overwhelming feeling of peace. I knew right then that everything was going to be ok. And I have had this feeling with me through the whole process so far. Dr. Bow referred me immediately to the Oncology Department, who followed up the following Monday. They wanted me in the office that week to get things going. I was expecting to have the whole week to slowly pack up (since I would be moving to my parents' home), so it was a little stressful to pack what I could in a suitcase and leave for California again. Nate is finishing his last semester at Boise State, so we decided it would be best for him to finish up and then move out to Sacramento in December, after he graduates. Luckily, we have been long distance before, so we have been prepared for this. 

I had my first appointment with my Oncologist, Dr. Rodriguez, on Wednesday (August 13th). She talked to me about what to expect with treatment (chemotherapy), and what testing was needed to determine my staging, thus determining how long treatment will be. I was scheduled for four different tests, all of which would happen within the next week, and was scheduled to start chemotherapy two weeks from that date, August 27th. We started with a lung test, where I basically looked like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland for 45 minutes while my breathing and lung strength were tested. See for yourself:

And I know my face was extremely red, but yours would be too if you had to blow into a bong for 6 seconds. Next was a heart test, called the MUGA, where they intravenously inject dye into your bloodstream to test how efficiently your heart pumps blood through your veins. The PET scan was scheduled next, and for this one, I had to completely avoid sugar, carbs, and caffeine for 2 days. It's a terrible diet to be on. But the test is exactly what you would think-- a full body scan in a claustrophobic tube. And last but not least, the lovely bone marrow biopsy. I am so scarred from this that just the name makes me cringe. For this one, they use a needle to extract a piece of bone containing bone marrow, and then go back in to get a marrow sample. I will just say that yes, they numb your skin before they do it, but there is nothing they can do to numb your bone, which is the part that is actually being handled. And you can hear the needle touching/extracting your bone. It's bad. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I got my results about a week later-- Stage 3. Stage 3 for Hodgkin's means that I have lymph nodes that are affected above and below the diaphragm. Which makes me wonder how long I have actually had this. The doctor said that Stage 1 can last up to 9 months! The best news I have gotten in the last month though is that the cancer is NOT in my bone marrow! 

And then I started chemotherapy. I started last week, on August 27th. Before I started, Dr. Rodriguez explained the medicine to me. It is a new kind of chemotherapy that has just been developed within the last three years, and is specifically for Hodgkin's disease. This chemo has had amazing results, with little side effects. Any side effect that may occur has a drug that can be prescribed to offset it. She expected that I would probably just be tired for a few days after, and that my tastebuds would change, so I should just eat whatever sounded good. So I went to my first chemo appointment pretty confident, but still a little nervous. I did get a new pair of Banana Republic lounge pants and made sure I had The September Issue for the appointment, so that made me feel a little better. 

Off to chemo. But first, a selfie:

And here I am getting infused:

The only side effects I have to report are a little bit of tiredness and lots of appetite. On the way home from the appointment, I got a pizza and ate most of it. It has been a little over a week since my first treatment, and I actually feel better than I did before I started. The lump in my armpit (which was the size of a tennis ball) is already gone, and the lump in my chest is not visible at all! It makes me feel so much better to have the visual results. I have a good amount of energy, and I have been able to swim and to go on walks almost every night (including the night of the infusion)!

I am extremely grateful to everyone for the thoughts and prayers. I feel very loved and know that I would not be this well off without them :)