All Clear

Just a short note so I don't leave anyone hanging-- my scan came back clear, so I am officially in remission!

....Now I'm off to get my port out!

April Come She Will

Well, it's April! It's been 8 months since this whole debacle started. It's crazy how fast the time has gone. 

I had my post-chemo PET scan last Wednesday, and will get my results next Tuesday, the 7th. I have been trying to stay really busy and keep my mind occupied while I wait. I have the same exact feeling I had while I waited for the results of my initial biopsy. Except with that, I only had to wait until the following day to get the results. It's just stressful waiting on news that impacts your entire immediate future. The scan itself went really smoothly. It was first thing in the morning, so I was more tired than I was stressed. I always forget what a tight space it is in the scanning machine, but it's nothing a little Ativan can't fix :) 

I have been feeling better every day since my last chemo, and my energy has improved significantly. When I got my blood counts checked at the end of February, they were 8.7! (They are supposed to be between 3.5 and 12.) it's been nice to be able to go back to the gym, eat sushi, and touch door handles, haha. I still am, and probably always will be a germ freak, but that's something I can live with :) 

Most of you know that I update my Instagram account pretty frequently and have been posting the highlights of the past 8 weeks (i.e. getting my port 

flushed and getting CA license plates) and also some of the things Nate and I have been doing. One of my favorite artists, Dev, performed in Sacramento about a month ago, and Nate and I got to go see her live! She is from central CA, so she does shows in northern CA a lot. Anyway, she was standing in the crowd with her tour manager right before she went on stage, (it was a small venue) and her tour manager saw me and immediately said, "you're Cessiley! I follow you on Instagram!" She then told me she'd been following my journey and was inspired by my strength. 

What!? 

That was pretty amazing. It blows my mind how awesome social media can be. Anyway, I was able to get a picture with Dev and got to chat with her manager, Alissa a little bit. Definitely one of the highlights of my year so far! 

Me and Dev taking a selfie ^^^

Alissa and I :) 

Although this has definitely been the biggest trial of my life, I have also had some amazing experiences that I would never be able to have other wise. 

Makeover!

I am going to blame it on the chemo brain, but I don't know why I haven't thought of updating the name of this blog, to my signature hashtag, #cancercouture. So here it is!

Follow Up

Now that I am starting to feel "normal,"

I am trying to make it a goal to not go a month in between blog posts! 

It has been 4 weeks since my last chemo, and I am feeling better every day. This is actually the best I have felt in over a year, because I felt sick for so long before I ever got diagnosed. We are estimating that the cancer was in my body for about a year and a half before I was diagnosed, with each stage lasting about 9 months (according to my oncologist). Which totally makes sense when I think back and remember how tired and constantly sick I was. But it is also scary, because I was pretty advanced stage 3, so I am just grateful I was in the right place with the right doctor at the right time. 

I have an appointment today to get my blood counts checked and to get my port flushed (since it is not being used regularly). I am anxious to see if my counts are up to normal. They are measured on a scale of 3.5-12. Most of the time during chemo they were around 4, but at one point, they dropped down to 2.7! Once my counts are back to normal, I have a lot of things to look forward to like eating raw sushi, going to the gym and not flinching every time I hear someone sneeze or cough. I will probably always be a germ freak because of this experience and will always carry hand sanitizer and hand soap with my wherever I go! 

My PET scan is only a month away now, so the time is going by really fast. I am really looking forward to having this one over with, just because the waiting is so hard for me! I have done pretty well with staying occupied and finding things to keep me busy this last month. Nate was home with me for most of the month, but now he is working full time and I miss having him around. We spent a lot of time outside since the weather was so nice earlier in the month. Our dog, Duke, liked it too because we we went on a lot of walks and visited parks during the day. Duke and I still go on morning walks, so it has been nice to start being active again. I am looking forward to having the energy to start running and doing Zumna again! 

I will continue to update as I progress, and once again, I am so grateful for everyone's prayers on my behalf. 

The Beginning of the END!

I would just like to point out that tonight, on the eve of my final chemo, that I have this much hair.

My oncologist initially told me that I would lose all of my hair within a month of starting treatment, which was August 27th. It 's definitely thinned out, but it is pretty amazing to me that I still have a full-ish head of hair! I'm so glad I never shaved it. A lot of my friends that I have met online didn't all lose their hair either, so every patient is different. My eyebrows and eyelashes, however, have gone pretty much M.I.A. One of the things I am looking forward to most is not having to draw eyebrows on to look normal. They RARELY come out looking the same, and they look different every day. But it's just one of those things you have to laugh off and roll with. 

I have come across an Instagram account that is a girl who is a breast cancer survivor, and she does tutorials on how to tie scarves. She is AMAZING. She has a youtube channel-- Confessions of a Bald Girl, and I learned how to do this from one of her videos:

Some new #cancercouture! The bow is pretty fun.




I also made an appointment and visited a local wig bank where I got my new hair:



The wig bank has free wigs for cancer patients, and it's run by the American Cancer Society. I just called them and made an appointment, and a stylist met with me and helped me find a wig that I liked and helped fit it to me! I have always wanted to try dark hair, but it's such a drastic change from what I had before, that I never wanted to commit to coloring it. So this is a nice alternative. And it's also kind of fun because people don't recognize me at first glance :)


So, tomorrow is it! Chemo 12/12. I have been getting a higher dosage of chemo the last couple times, because they determine the amount on your weight. And thanks to the steroids in my cocktail, I have gained enough to have to have my dosage increased. I could tell a definite difference in my recovery after having the higher dose. I was definitely more tired after, and it took me about a week and a half to feel normal, as opposed to about 5 days before. I also got to experience "bone pain," which I hadn't had before, but have heard the horrible rumors about. Once you realize why you have the bone pain, it makes sense, but it doesn't make it any better. Your white blood cells are produced in your bone marrow, which is in your bones. So because everything is being killed off and the white blood cells are trying to reproduce, (as my sister would say,) "there's just a lot happening." And you can feel it. Speaking of white blood cells, my counts have been pretty low the last few weeks. It's always a surprise to the nurses when it happens, but I don't know why, because isn't that the whole point? I understand the concern and wanting the patients to be careful, but I thought the whole idea here was that we were killing cells.... Anyway, normal blood counts will fall on a scale of 3.5-12. Before I started chemo, I was an 8. After my first chemo, they were at 2.7 (and that's the absolute lowest it has ever been). They have been right around 3 lately, which is low, but still manageable. When they fall below the scale, it always takes longer at chemo because the nurse has to get permission from my oncologist to proceed with chemo, and it can sometimes take a while. Which is a bummer, but I only have to be there one more time!

So I will have chemo tomorrow, and then I have an eight week waiting period before my next PET scan to make sure everything is good! So it's going to be a long eight weeks :)

I get to fill in the last piece of this puzzle tomorrow! Thank you everyone for your continued love and support. I have been so blessed throughout this journey and am so grateful for all the wonderful people in my life!

Ending the Year with a Bang

2014 was definitely a difficult year for me, but through my trials this year, I have also had a lot of wonderful things happen that never would have otherwise. I am at chemo today (New Year's Eve), but just like I said on my birthday, health is the best gift I could possibly receive. What better way to ring in the new year? 

I am overwhelmed by the love and support I have received in the last year from friends, family, and even strangers. All of the gifts, letters, notes, and prayers have meant to much to me and have helped me get through this difficult time. I don't know what else to say except that my heart is full of love to ring in this new year. 

Long Time Overdue

Sorry, I know I have been M.I.A. once again. I have been super busy, which has been a good thing for me, because it is DECEMBER. In two weeks, I get to go up to Boise to watch my husband graduate! And then, the most important part, move him to back to Sacramento with me! But anyway, I'm sure most, if not all of you, are looking for a status update. I will be better about updating in the coming weeks!

I am continuing to feel pretty good. I am definitely more tired as I have more treatments, but it's nothing to complain about. The anti-nausea medication I was given has been the ultimate lifesaver. I started out being able to do only Zofran, but these last couple times I've added some Decadron (which is a steroid--yay) to take the edge off.  Also having my port (or, #surfport or, #PORTition)* has been incredible. I haven't had any vein problems with my last two treatments :). I just had my 8th treatment (of twelve) yesterday, so I am officially 2/3 of the way done! I will have one more treatment and then Nate will be able to start coming with me. All the nurses at the infusion center are looking forward to meeting him, because I talk about him all the time, and he hasn't been able to be at a chemo with me yet. So, our first appointment together will be New Year's Eve! I am going to take in headbands, sparkling cider, and some kind of treat, just to make it fun for everyone (because ain't no one wanna be there). (Sorry to all the English professors reading this, but there was just no other way to put that. And, I have chemo brain, so I can't be held responsible for grammatical errors.)

Here I am at chemo #8! (staying hydrated)

And another big update: I have busted out my wig. 

It is definitely a strange adjustment, but I have gotten used to it pretty quick. It's nice to have a little more hair for a change. Here is what my hair looks like now: 

It has definitely thinned out, but it is GROWING in the back. I styled it in a mohawk just to show the growth I've had! And yes, this is my natural hair color. To have this much hair this far into my treatment is incredible to me. My doctor told me I would be completely bald within a month of starting treatment. 

I still feel comfortable wearing it out like this (if it's styled), but the wig is fun. If it starts getting more patchy, I will probably cut it all shorter, just so it's evened out. 

I have also been able to experiment with some new #cancercouture looks! The scarves have been fun (once you figure out how to tie them to your head!) Here is the "chemo glow" I have been telling some of you about... there's more about this down below. 

I have come across a YouTube channel called "Confessions of a Bald Girl" that is done by a girl who just survived Breast Cancer! She is super stylish, and has a lot of good tutorials like this one. I love the bow! 

One DEFINITE bonus from having chemo-- it is like getting botox and a facial every time you go. It, like, perfects your skin. I had heard other people say they had had this as a side effect, but I didn't believe it until I saw it on my own face. A lot of people ask me if I've been out in the sun or using tanning products, but it's just the "chemo glow!" Obviously I don't recommend taking this route for skincare haha, but it has been nice to have #flawless* skin for once in my life!





*Some of you are wondering about some of the funny hashtags on my chemo posts from Instagram. I have a little group of friends that I have met on IG (there are 5 of us, and we are all around the same age and all were diagnosed with Hodgkin's in 2014, so it has been an AMAZING support for me). So to make things fun, we incorporate Beyonce songs into our everyday chemo posts. If you've heard the songs, it is probably all clicking for you... "surf port, surf port...." If you don't know the songs, just disregard it ;)